confessions during hospital intermission

confession:  papi is in surgery getting his ankle bolted back together while i write these confessions. i escaped the hospital while he is in surgery. i’ve been nursing him for a week since he fell while rock climbing. he has been in intense pain, which means he has been a fiery hellish demon to attend to.  in order to pause my tongue-lashing so i didn’t slice his bitchy head off, i had to remind myself four times yesterday that he devoted years of sympathetic care-taking for me when i was chronically ill. 

confession:  the pre-op nurse told papi that he is young while the surgeon and anesthesiologist told him he was old.  at 44 years, he is both young and old.  i’m glad i am and will always be eight years younger than papi.

confession:  any time a person goes into surgery, the patient is asked about advance directives.  every time that happens i wonder why papi, wizard, and i haven’t legally addressed these and other issues. admittedly, we won’t do it this week and we will have put it out of our minds again by next week.

confession:  years ago when papi began rock climbing he promised me (by my request) that if he seriously injured himself during that activity he would stop climbing FOREVER. i’m sorry he is hurt, but i’m grateful he is never climbing again. i always knew papi would take too many risks and possibly endanger his life. he got lucky he only fractured bones in his ankle when he fell.  he won’t tell me how far he fell, and i don’t want to know.

confession:  i’m grateful that all my bones are strong, whole, and properly fit together. 

confession:  i’ve slept seven hours in the past three days.  i’m not safe to drive.  i wasn’t safe to drive yesterday.  still, i drive.  i’m papi’s “responsible adult driver” today.  geezus…i really need a nap.


About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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2 Responses to confessions during hospital intermission

  1. renee says:

    Sorry for Papi!
    My confession today is that I don’t do any kind of risk-taking, extreme anything. No skydiving, no bungee jumping, because I feel like life is exciting enough without it. My theory being that if I ever need to do any of these things for like some sort of life saving situation I will gladly, fearlessly do it, but not until then. Well… we’ll see.

    About the driving on very little sleep. Here’s a little secret for you. Anyone who has a kid under the age of 3-6 months is crazy-ass, mind-numbingly sleep deprived and has been for at least 3-6 months and they drive around all the time. When I first had Ian I was amazed at the simple legality of being allowed to drive around on that little sleep every day. So don’t worry. You’ll make it through and you and every one else will be ok.

  2. Tamika says:

    Ay, pobrecitos… de él y de ti. I’m so glad he only has a few broken bones… enough to learn from. I know this time is hard, but I must say I bet you’re an awesome caretaker… Soooo he’s kind of lucky, too. 🙂

    I pray that you sleep, my precious diva sister, and that papi experiences Wolverine-esque healing. I love you all.

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