confessions on the cusp of scorpio

confession:  in my perma-quest for less stuff, i filled three bags from my closet last saturday (mostly shoes) and donated them. if you’re looking to buy size 9 stilettos, hurry to the shelves of austin-area goodwill stores.
confession:  i’m tracking the delivery progress of my birthday boots via u.p.s. the boots are scheduled to arrive today while i’m scheduled to be elsewhere-than-home. in reaction to this, my face looks like the unsmiley face emoticon. 
confession:  i have a habit of rescheduling appointments, but some can’t be rescheduled, in which case, i have to show up or miss them. i miss most appointments (particularly social engagements) that can’t be rescheduled. i rarely regret that choice. 
confession: i think my right eyelid is beginning to saggy crease in a 37-year-old way. or maybe i’m just tired. this is another reason to avoid looking in the mirror. i don’t need to notice or care if my age is starting to show.
confession: last thursday night, for the first time in my life, a stranger guessed my age correctly. when i was a kid, people assumed i was older. as an adult, people have historically guessed me to be younger…until last thursday. i don’t want this to bother me. it bothers me plenty. and what bothers me most is that it bothers me at all.
confession: because of a nightmare and cat puke, i didn’t do anything i had planned yesterday. or, those are my excuses. i don’t want to make excuses. rationalizing and justifying to myself wastes the energy that would more productively be invested in doing the thing, rather than defending why i didn’t.
confession: i’m withholding the biggest confession this week. the details of my life that i don’t confess are transmuted into fiction stories, which explains why i burn most of my fiction. (that was a bigger confession than the one i withheld.)

About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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9 Responses to confessions on the cusp of scorpio

  1. stacy says:

    confession: i do not like confrontation. i do not like having to keep my opinions to myself. these run counter and i therefore have to confront or shut up.

    confession: sometimes silence is not golden; it is cowardice.

    confession: i let my characters say the things i want to. i do not burn it. sometimes i wonder if i should though.

    confession: i was thinking of you yesterday when a speeding taxi cab nearly collided into me. i was trying to remember if you wanted hot pink or purple on the reverse side of that cape you covet.

    confession: they are indoctrinating my sweet baby girl. i struggle with how to counter that without making her the brunt of religious intolerance.

    confession: i struggle with how much to push and how much to just let be on my oldest’s hesitance to drive. i do not want co-dependency, yet i also do not want to force her to participate in actions she is not comfortable with. i have a feeling lots of time will be spent on country roads. More time to bond and giggle!

  2. stacy says:

    confession: i just realized, while looking at the header for your blog, the reason why i have such a hard time confessing…it’s a different form of getting nekkid! 😉

  3. Teresa says:

    confesstion: I keep writing you letters in my head and then never get them on paper to get them to you. I’m wondering if you already know what they say.

    confession: I’m sick of other people’s crazy. I have enough crazy of my own right now, and I don’t want theirs, but I still want to be me and feel guilty if I don’t show up for other people in my life.

    confession: Four classes is too many for one semester.

    confession: Sven has been so, so awesome lately and I haven’t made enough time for him. It makes me really sad. We just made plans to watch a movie tonight. 🙂

    confession: I miss you TONS! Love you TONS too!

  4. grandiva says:

    Confession: I’ve been waiting for this post since yesterday.

    Confession: confessing here is awesome because I can be naked, whereas on my blog I feel that I have to reveal + give sage words.

    Confession: I realize how egotistical the previous confession sounds, but a) it’s not if you get me, and b) if it were, who cares? My blog.

    Ha. I wasn’t planning on the above confessions.

    Confession: my girlfriend and my daughter broke my heart on the same day (Monday). Neither knows about the other. that said, I’ve chosen to lovingly accept my daughter’s deception. I never want to talk to the girlfriend again.

    Confession: I’ve suppressed the urge to say “fuck off and die” for 24 hours, thus my desperate waiting for this post. 🙂

    Confession: I am actually happy for a refocusing in on my priorities and needs, which I’ve neglected for 3 years. I’m excited about that, though I’ve lost a friend and lover to do it.

  5. LoneStarGirl says:

    confession: i look forward to your posts with delicious anticipation

    and the other isn’t quite a confession, but when i was a kid people always guessed i was older and now people guess younger. interesting how that works. i love that people think i am younger, but i still see myself getting older physically and it bothers me. 😦

  6. Kimberly says:

    Confession: I actually spent money on myself. AND I don’t feel guilty (you knowing me the way you do you realize what a big, big, big deal this is). I placed my order yesterday, my happy-joy gift will arrive today. I CAN NOT WAIT TO GET HOME!!!

    Confession: Things had been going SO much better with my oldest until Sunday afternoon when the 14 year old angsty-pretentious-snobby child reemerged. She can be just so full of herself sometimes but I have to remind myself that she’ll either outgrow it, or outgrow living with me. Either way tensions will ease.

    Confession: I saw the very first “lines that bothered me” around my eyes in a recent photograph lately. I wish I could say I shrugged it off but honestly I erased them in photoshop.

    Confession: I really need more sleep.

    Confession: I have been craving shrimp spring rolls from my favorite Vietnamese place for two weeks now. I know that isn’t a real confession but I want them SO MUCH!

  7. pixie sister says:

    confession: i love how we balance each other. i get excited about every new wrinkle i see and i look at them often.

    confession: i obviously need to learn more about teaching, delegating, and managing. i still like the results better when i just do it myself.

    confession: i am having an extremely hard time not thinking about work all the time this week.

    confession: in league with the national rate, half of the 6 couples i’ve been bridesmaid for are divorced. that’s not really a confession. just a fact.

    confession: i am now a state registered domestic partner. it does not feel like marriage and i think everyone should have this option as well as marriage. it feels weird when people say congratulations. hence, we are telling very few people b/c we don’t want it to take away from when we do get married. i somehow feel like a more responsible person now.

  8. Confession: I am secretly impressed and envious of the plus one set of boots and minus three bags of shoes achievement and would love you to explain the process to more people.

  9. Pingback: It is the nicest house on the planet

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