Monthly Archives: November 2010

whatever helps

i’m listening to the blues because the blues make me happy and i am one of those holiday-hating hide-in-bed avoid-all-contact people from thanksgiving til new years. today solomon burke is singing “cry to me” on repeat. if you don’t know this … Continue reading

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beautiful

By the time I realized I was beautiful (a few months ago), it didn’t matter anymore. It didn’t matter because in a decade (or less) my looks will likely fade. It didn’t matter because I no longer cared about being … Continue reading

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thanksgiving eve confessions

confession: sometimes i utterly forget my goal of enlightenment. in those moments i am bitchy, sad, or scared. i had several of those moments yesterday.   confession: i bought gifts online last night with coupons for early black friday shopping. … Continue reading

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longing

early yesterday morning as i cleaned out one of my email accounts, i found an email in the draft box dated a year and a half ago to a girl i don’t know anymore. i’m not sure if i sent a revised … Continue reading

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poets and shoes

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can … Continue reading

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confessing in november sunshine

confession: in 2009 i went from devoted co-parenthood for the son birthed by my wife to a soul-withering hopelessness triggered by our escalating eating disordered madness which resulted in our estrangement. i entered 2010 in a rebound relationship with a girlfriend whom i didn’t … Continue reading

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weekend in review

what i learned from visiting my mother: 1. she isn’t my mother anymore; she is my niece’s grandmother. 2. she is a better grandmother than she was mother. 3. i am less affected by (but continue to react slightly defensively about) … Continue reading

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