last night i met a beauty wearing a very short and sexy red skirt sitting at the bar for a drink. luckily, i didn’t notice the skirt’s lack of length and surplus of sexy until more than an hour later when i was walking behind her. had i known about the skirt’s short-sassy-sexiness while we were talking, i wouldn’t have been as attentive to what she was saying. sex distracts me. i assume that sex distracts most people, but that may not be true. many of our assumptions aren’t true. we assume anyway. more dangerous, we often believe our assumptions without questioning them.
only within the past year have i revised a core guiding principle based on an assumption that everyone has depth of character. because i assumed everyone was deep, even if depth wasn’t demonstrated, i believed that people would reveal their depth if given time, loving attention, and acceptance. guess what? it was an incorrect assumption. guess what else? because i believed it, i couldn’t see the truth about people lacking depth, which became problematic in intimate relationships with people who were shallow.
since that recently revised assumption of mine, i’ve made a greater effort to question assumptions i’ve taken for granted as true. it is difficult to spot these assumptions-posing-as-truth-and-held-as-belief, since some were integrated decades ago. for example, i assume i’m a good listener. what if that isn’t true? truth is, i interrupt people when i get excited about something they’ve said and i want to interject. interrupting isn’t good listening. how would i perceive myself and the world differently if i dropped the assumption that i’m a good listener? likely, i’d make a focused effort to listen better, and thereby become the good listener i’ve assumed and believed i am but am not (or at least i’d be better if i didn’t interrupt).
your turn. what assumptions do you believe that aren’t true? if you can’t think of any, then think harder, because everybody makes assumptions and they aren’t all correct.