late departure

i left on thursday, later than planned, hours later. enough
later that i poured a cocktail and waited longer before
i left. i drove
in traffic, not much traffic, and i didn’t mind,
since i planned to stop in ft. worth and ride the bull at billy bob’s.

there are two mechanical bulls i could ride any night in austin, bulls
i haven’t ridden. i didn’t ride the one at billy bob’s either, i didn’t even
go in.

i skinnydipped in the hotel’s saltwater pool at sunset. nobody saw my naked
body, even though anyone
who walked by
or looked
from their hotel window would have seen. i floated
on my back and watched clouds moving above me. i didn’t want to get
out.

i’m never ready to exit a pool i have
to myself, naked and alone.
i never want to lift my head partway
submerged, ears underwater, listening
to heartbeats between
breaths in and out,
while my body is supported from beneath by water
heavier than me, lifting and never letting me down.

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About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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One Response to late departure

  1. loveisastar says:

    (Read this before bed last night and thought of you. Actually I’ve been dreaming of you. Three dreams with you in them in the last 2 weeks.)

    The Lives of the Heart
    ~ Jane Hirschfield ~

    Are ligneous, muscular, chemical.
    Wear birch-colored feathers,
    green tunnels of horse-tail reed.
    Wear calcified spirals, Fibonaccian spheres.
    Are edible;are glassy;are clay;blue schist.
    Can be burned as tallow, as coal,
    can be skinned for garnets, for shoes.
    Cast shadows or light;
    shuffle;snort;cry out in passion.
    Are salt, are bitter,
    tear sweet grass with their teeth.
    Step silently into blue needle-fall at dawn.
    Thrash in the net until hit. .
    Rise up as cities, as serpentined magma, as maples,
    hiss lava-red into the sea.
    Leave the strange kiss of their bodies
    in Burgess Shale. Can be found, can be lost,
    can be carried, broken, sung.
    Lie dormant until they are opened by ice,
    by drought. Go blind in the service of lace.
    Are starving, are sated, indifferent, curious, mad.
    Are stamped out in plastic, in tin.
    Are stubborn, are careful, are slipshod,
    are strung on the blue backs of flies
    on the black backs of cows.
    Wander the vacant whale-roads, the white thickets
    heavy with slaughter.
    Wander the fragrant carpets of alpine flowers.,
    Not one is not held in the arms of the rest, to blossom.
    Not one is not given to ecstasy’s lions.
    Not one does not grieve.
    Each of them opens and closes, closes and opens
    the heavy gate –violent, serene, consenting, suffering it all.

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