confessions after the rain

confession: i’m a pusher when i’ve been drinking. i don’t push alcohol, i push nudity. at home, i never wear clothes. clothes feel foreign on my body. nude feels best to me. i wish i didn’t push nudity onto others when they are clearly uncomfortable with it. i don’t want to be a pusher. i belong in australia. australians think nothing of nudity. in australia, i was never the first one to take off my clothes and run into the ocean or jump into a swimming pool during a party (or any other time). i’m a pusher of nudity at parties. i need to accept it, deal with it, and move to australia if i can’t restrain it.

confession: males between the ages of 25 and 45 elicit my maternal instincts. my heart opens to mother them. i want to take care of them and protect them from all the pain they’ve incurred and stored over their lifetimes. i reach out to comfort them. i hug on them. i love on them. i look into their eyes and beam them with the brightest light, reflecting theirs. almost every time they mistake my desire to comfort them for me wanting to fuck them.

confession: union phillips cherry–go to the liquor store and buy a bottle, stat. you won’t be disappointed. i took his bottle home with me to insure that i’d remember. he didn’t mind. sometimes boys like to give to me, share with me, and those boys win me over.

confession: most men under the age of 45 are boys to me. they are the ones i want to mother. the few that i perceive as men don’t need my comforting. those men comfort me.

confession: this town is full of everybody’s ex-girlfriends. i always recognize her face. i never remember her name. i see them everywhere.

confession: i’m not good at remembering names, even when i make it important.

confession: i wasn’t drunk, not like they thought. i was high on the scent of union phillips cherry and meeting new people i liked and the rain. but they thought i was drunk. i’m often misperceived in that manner.

confession: i love that i get high on love, joy, cloudy skies, moonlight, chocolate, and rain.


About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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4 Responses to confessions after the rain

  1. Teresa says:

    Hi Lovie!

    Please remind me of the union phillips cherry after Dec. 15th. It sounds delicious. Also, tell Papi I was thinking about his yummy drink that he made for me in April. Whenever you can’t have something is when you want it most… 😛

    I love that you love boys the way you do. They need the mothering – they just don’t know it and most likely, it can’t come from their own mothers… You are an excellent source for them.

    I slept most of the day yesterday. When I was awake, I watched a movie and made dinner. It was a good day.

    Mucho love to you!

  2. pixie sister says:

    good job birthday faerie! you unconsciously got it all right 🙂
    my bday is a tricky one to remember, even one who is better than chocolate has troubles. and most of my friends. it’s so close to father’s day and solstice yet it is it’s own last day of spring day that is trickily in the middle.
    no italy this year, but east coast canada/us instead. i’m so stoked and ready for a vacation with my done-with-grad-school-lover!
    i love you so frickin’ much!
    ps. sun

  3. Chrissy says:

    i’m a pusher of many things. it’s in my nature. i’m a bull i like things the way i like them and everyone else must comply. i’m pushing before anyone has a chance to resist.
    you’re not pushing drugs. nudity is good. let’s go to australia and be naked together. or just call me the next time it rains (after 30 days ;D ) and i’ll come join you.
    i love you.

  4. Unsinkable says:

    Confession: Girl I used to really like and I had an all out blow out over text message. It made me feel awful yet angry. When she was done ripping me a new ass, I never responded. I didn’t do so because I would have been brutally mean to her and said very personal, hurtful things.

    Confession: I wanted to hurt her like she hurt me but the person inside me who is focused on growing and moving forward decided that was very old school and counterproductive.

    Confession: Guy I had been dating who also has H is going to have to be moved out of the picture. I’m sad about this especially because I’m very uncomfortable talking to any potential new sex partners about what I have. I’d almost rather die.

    Confession: I’ve been going out with someone new (they’re a dime a dozen in this town). We’ve had some time to roll around in the hay and make out a lot. I’ve yet to tell him everything about me. He claims that there’s nothing I could tell him that would make him not like me and want to be with me sexually. That scares me.

    Confession: I’ve been slowly breaking my weekly routine but will be back to my regularly scheduled program tonight. You know where. I hope to see you.

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