Monthly Archives: November 2011

loving hard

i love hard and long and deep from the first moment i begin loving someone. my love lasts until the very end, which might be endless, since we don’t know what happens to love after the body dies, after the sun … Continue reading

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pleasure

i was given a new mantra this week: “let a sense of pleasure be your guide.” because i am well-practiced with mantras, i effortlessly remember to repeat my mantra all day long. what i’ve discovered is that pleasure guides me to … Continue reading

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confessions of fighting myself

confession: i’m too tired to get upset about anything anyone else does. nonreaction is the best benefit of exhaustion. i’m not too tired to get upset with myself. i make myself even more exhausted by attacking myself.  confession: i resist doing … Continue reading

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magic

this morning i was asked, “what do you really really love?” after hours of thinking about that question, my answer is pink. i really really love pink. i have only one marker and it is pink. i don’t know where … Continue reading

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confessions before playing the piano

confession: a recurring theme of “beauty” tugs and pulls my thoughts. the people i find most beautiful, the paintings and songs and books i find most beautiful, the weather and natural formations that i find most beautiful are dark and haunting.   confession: … Continue reading

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stop and stay there

“Seek those moments when you gently come to a stop. Stay there.” –Ivan M. Granger i have a new mentor with the wisdom to create pause, to stop, to integrate, to appreciate, to hold an ordinary moment and transform it … Continue reading

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purple sparkly toes and blow jobs

i finally painted my toenails. i didn’t get a pedicure as planned for the past year, because that would prove too self-nurturing for me to tolerate. i didn’t allow myself that luxury, but i painted them myself. i painted them … Continue reading

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