goodbye, madrid

the corkscrew broke, the wine splashed and stained the wall, the glass shattered on the floor. the sunset burned in otherworldly hues never seen before. i found 50 euros on the sidewalk and surreptitiously stuffed them in my pocket. i heard the neighbors having orgasmic sex, two women with girly pleasure yelps and squeals. i walked until my legs were stiff. i didn’t sleep, not a single night, but i meditated on life and death and letting go until sunrise. i sat in a christmas-wrought cathedral and prayed to a dancing god more ancient than religion. i ran through a cloud of bubbles blown by a frowning chinese lass.
 
i stood before the three graces by reubens and flinched at their dimpled cellulite. i sank into the painting by dali until the old lady peeking from the far corner of the frame spooked me away. i wandered past the walls of goya’s black paintings and felt the kinship of a fellow shadow-dweller.
 
i thought about her every hour and ached for the children every time i passed a child in a stroller. i questioned whether it is too late to return or change or save what is already over and gone. every night i whispered a tear-choked goodbye into the dark. i know she heard me because i heard her crying. thousands of miles away, i can still hear her crying.
 
i said goodbye to madrid this morning. at the end of 2011, i’m practicing goodbyes.

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About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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2 Responses to goodbye, madrid

  1. pixie sister says:

    good bye 2011. funny how it is a good bye. never a bad bye. i love you.

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