i heard a song three days ago on the radio, an old song, a song i sang along with while it played because i knew all the words, a song i’ve been trying to remember and download for the past two days. i can’t remember the melody, the artist, or the lyrics, yet this song is repeating beneath my consciousness, singing itself without music and words, leading me somewhere while my lost feet trace large circles in wet moonlit grass while i lay in bed dreaming without sleep.
two days ago he asked me if i could roadtrip with him the next day. i told him i couldn’t leave the next day, but i could depart on sunday. we’re going far and fast and finding a portal to forever, because i’m in dire need of a few forever moments strung together and the desert holds wisdom that the hills will never know.
i want to play the song i keep searching for while we drive the many hours it takes to arrive in the middle of nowhere. i want to sing it to him over and over again. i want to hear myself sing this song for the hours it takes to drive from hills across desert to the edge of mountains. i believe that music heals and certain songs heal certain ailments according to secret formulas that science hasn’t yet unlocked. i believe in magic and that magic is merely a word used to describe what can’t be explained by our limited rational minds and collected material evidence. i believe in miracles and that miracles happen everywhere all the time between one breath and the next when most people aren’t paying attention. i believe loving someone well is both magical and miraculous. i’m being loved well. i’m being loved gently. i’m being loved patiently. i recognize the miracles given and received through this love. i’m loving others as best i can and better all the time. i’m loving more gently and patiently, inviting magic and miracles to boost me higher and wiser. it seems that there is never enough time and time is all we have, so i’m spending mine on magic, miracles, healing songs, and forever moments in the middle of nowhere.