changing my mind

you don’t have to know why you want the things you want. you can change your mind back and forth, wanting now exactly what you didn’t want a week ago. you can want the same thing for fifteen years and live everyday in service of achieving that thing and then suddenly not want that thing anymore. you can work your whole life to get, do, and become what you dreamed when you were twelve years old and then find in having it all that the “all” isn’t anything you want. that’s okay. i’ve done these things and the world didn’t end. the world didn’t change. the world didn’t bend. but part of me ended, changed, and bent. i’ve changed what i want this week. i’ve gone back and forth and changed my mind and want now what i didn’t want a week ago and i’ve had it “all” and the all felt like nothing. i want more love and less fear, which are things i’ve wanted eternally, but i’ve changed how i want to feel more love and less fear. i reduced fear this week by deciding to love the fear whose only purpose is to keep me safe. i have more love by loving fear. i have less fear by loving the message my fear arises to deliver. today i let myself have what i want. i bent the past and focused on the good and found gifts in what i once considered bad. i woke up today and asked myself what i want now and answered with a different response that what i wanted last week, last year, last decade. i’m checking my actions to see if they create what i want. i’m checking my thoughts to support what i want. life becomes easier to navigate when i align with what i want and need NOW.

 

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About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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One Response to changing my mind

  1. LoneStarGirl says:

    thank you. so timely.

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