start right now

i can’t sleep, which is usual instead of unusual, and my rambling thoughts spin and toss and spit out. some of them land here. 

on days that i prioritize three important things to accomplish, 98% of the time i accomplish those priorities plus more. on days when i bumble through my day without focus, i accomplish nearly nothing. on wednesday and thursday i accomplished the three most important things plus more. on friday i accomplished nothing, unless eating a chopped beef sandwich and taking a nap qualify as accomplishments. 

last week i received the message: START. RIGHT. NOW. 

i knew exactly what i was meant to start. i didn’t start. i haven’t started. i thought all day about starting. thinking ain’t starting, and even now, i’m writing to you instead of starting. 

why do we procrastinate the most important thing? we do we resist taking the first step or the next step or the completion step of what we are called to do, be, or create? why do we get in our own way? what are we afraid of? 

i procrastinate and resist and get in my way because i’m afraid of failing…and also of shining too brightly. 

i procrastinated all night. i napped. i went for a walk. i showered. i did laundry. i read a book. i stretched on the floor. i snacked even though i wasn’t hungry. i drank diet coke even though my remaining kidney begs me not to. i emailed someone i shouldn’t have. i clicked “like” on countless facebook posts. i researched retreat opportunities. i listened to willie nelson sing an eddie vedder song on repeat. i drank another diet coke and snacked some more. i stretched some more. now i’m writing to you. 

what are you procrastinating by reading this post? 

START. RIGHT. NOW. 

or don’t. but at least, at the very least, listen to the calling for your focused attention. find out what you’re avoiding. make a date to start and keep it. 

i’ll begin on monday. 

START. RIGHT. NOW. 

or, right now. i can take the tiniest baby step right now. (i’m reaching into the bookcase and taking out a handwritten manuscript and setting it in the middle of the floor.) there. i’ve begun. now it’s your turn. what is the tiniest step you can take? do it. do it now.

 

 

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About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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