the front end of my car got mangled on monday night. a fence and my car collided. in case you are wondering, yes, i was driving. yes, i was completely sober. i’ve been a passenger in a car that hit this same fence last year. this fence is a car magnet. it is a very tricky fence.
earlier that evening i had moved my car three times while deciding where to park downtown. i could feel that my car was going to get hit that night. i had no idea that i would be driving the car when the car would be struck by a very tricky fence. in case you are wondering, yes, i believe the very tricky fence hit my car, not that i drove my car into the very tricky fence.
mercury is in retrograde. i don’t believe the very tricky fence would have the power to crunch my car without the influence of mercury in retrograde. according to an astrology blog post, “Surreal and mysterious things are happening. So as Mercury goes retrograde in Pisces, this can mess with our sense of what’s real and what’s not.” maybe i am responsible for driving into the very trick fence. or maybe the very tricky fence tricked me into hitting it.
after my initial annoyance that the fence hit my car (or i drove my car into the fence, if that’s what you believe), i felt relieved. i wanted a new bumper. someone else driving my car had driven over a tall curb and dented the front bumper six weeks after i bought the car. four months later, on my birthday, that same someone backed my car into a telephone pole and crinkled the back bumper. i want a new front bumper and a new back bumper. i want my car to be perfect again. i’ve only owned the car for eleven months and i want it to be perfect. i want a perfect car. i want a perfectly healthy body. i want a perfectly peaceful mind. i want a perfectly loving heart. the body shop can restore my car to perfection. the body shop will take possession of my car next tuesday and return it to me the following tuesday restored to perfection. my other desires require my effort and surrender. enlightenment suggests that i release desire. enlightenment teaches that if i release the “i” and the “want” from “i want a perfectly healthy body” then all that remains is “a perfectly healthy body.” likewise, if i release the “i” and the “want” from “a perfectly peaceful mind” and “a perfectly loving heart” then all that remain are “a perfectly peaceful mind” and “a perfectly loving heart.”
what do you want today? are you willing to release the “i” and the “want” in order that you may have it?