i have a new favorite dance partner. a tall, slim, young one with a soft, clear lead. (to all my long-time favorite dance partners, this new one could never diminish my love for the long-time favorites which will always be my favorites.) i love this new one for the way i feel when i’m dancing with him. i am weightless when we are dancing. the space around us opens to a dimension where gravity ceases to exist and we float. just thinking about dancing with him brings a rush of giddiness, like being in love, but in love with a moment, not with a person, a repeatable moment that begins again each time one of us walks toward the other to dance. dancers love dancing for many reasons, but one of the best reasons is that dancers can fall in love over and over for three minutes at a time.
my new dance partner does a weird little thing that i’m sure he doesn’t know he is doing. every time it happens i wonder about the weird little things i don’t know i’m doing. a dozen years ago someone finally told me that i make weird little noises, not just sometimes, but all the time. i don’t know what these noises sound like, because i don’t hear them. since i’m not aware of making these noises, i imagine they sound like the soft grunts of a baby pig. some of you know about these noises, you’ve heard them, noted them to yourself, and probably thought they were weird. i could ask you what these noises sound like, but i’d rather forget that i make them so that i don’t become overly self-conscious about them. i can’t help remembering that i make these weird noises when my new dance partner does his little weird thing that he doesn’t know he is doing. his weird little thing makes him more precious to me.
when we are in love, everything appears more beautiful, more vibrant, more exciting. i am in love. ten years ago (or, realistically, two years ago), i would have mistakenly assigned this in-love-giddiness to the new dance partner. but i don’t know him. i know dancing with him. i’m in love with dancing with him. i’m in love with weightlessly floating. i’m in love with gracefully following his clear, soft leading. and being in love is blissful.