last night, like a few other nights in as many weeks, i sat in the car for a few minutes between the hours of 10:30pm and 12:30 am with my phone in hand, wanting to text someone to meet me anywhere for a beer and a game of billiards. i could’ve texted several people with that invitation, but i wanted to text someone specific. someone i don’t have. i wanted to text my boy best friend, but i don’t currently have a boy best friend. easily enough i repress the urge to text ex-boy best friends because there are good reasons for the “ex” prefix attached to those names. it struck me last night that i’ve had a boy best friend every year of my life since 7th grade…until now. often, i had overlapping boy best friends, because i learned early that a new girlfriend will steal away my boy best friend within months of a budding relationship.
last night i didn’t text anyone and came home. other nights i’ve gone out somewhere alone and didn’t feel lonely, but i felt restless. whether at home or out somewhere, i’ve felt restless without a boy best friend, without that person i can text late at night who stays up even later than i do and is usually available for last call and middle of the night conversation. i’m not sure what to do without a local boy best friend. i have other boy best friends sprinkled across the country and the globe, but none in my hometown, not anymore. i don’t want to admit that absence is probably for the best, because the absence of a local boy best friend means i’ll imbibe less alcohol and go to bed earlier each week. and the truth is, i’m happier when i drink less and sleep more.
even so, if waving a magic wand worked for this sort of spell or if a genie appeared before me, i’d request the following:
local pretty boy approximately my age who is more vain than i am, a natural flirt, and adores me. local pretty boy who is funny and sweet and smarter than everyone he knows (except for me, of course). local pretty boy who doesn’t need much sleep and can pay his own way. local pretty boy eager to offer his perspective about almost any facet of life experience and equally eager to hear mine. local pretty boy who will stick around for a few years and let me love him well and love me well in return.