i’m a newbie at asking and receiving. i’ve mostly exhausted my list of people who will automatically grant anything i ask, because they were the safe ones for my beginning practice. now it’s time for me to risk asking from people who might tell me no. without directly asking, someone had been telling me no for weeks. i indirectly asked for an apology, an acknowledgement that my feelings weren’t considered or valued. i didn’t get an apology. instead i received several defensive rationalizations for why this person wasn’t sorry and i was told that my verbal processing of feelings wasn’t welcome. guess what? i survived. not only did i survive, i grew stronger and wiser. i learned why i’ve felt a contraction within that relationship almost since it began years ago: i like this person, but i don’t like the way this person treats me. that relationship has ended and i continue refining what to ask for and from whom.
there are a few new people passing and pausing on the sidelines of my attention. i’m more careful and cautious with whom i consider sharing myself. i’m improving my sensors for trustworthiness and honesty. there’s more to honesty than not lying. the kind of honesty i want is living one’s truth with grace and respect for others. the trustworthiness i desire is an integrity between words and actions. i feel safer all the time, safer in my trust for myself and for my discernment of who and what honors my highest good.
i have wishes for you, the same wishes i have for myself. i wish for you to find your voice to ask for what you want. i wish for you to recognize the people who want to give you what you want to receive and who want to receive what you want to give. i wish for you to lighten up and let go and give yourself the quietness for peace. i wish for you to match your words and actions, that when you claim to want something, you want it with your whole heart and align your actions to allow its manifestation. i wish for you a deep breath and gratitude for all the goodness in your world in this moment. i wish for you the courage to express your creativity and the discipline to shush your inner critic. i wish for you more, more, more of what you’ve always wanted and less of what dims your light. i wish for you to become exactly who and how you’ve always known you were born to be.