i asked for more. a lot more. i got exactly what i asked for.
not at first.
the first person i asked couldn’t give me what i want. i knew he couldn’t give me what i wanted before i asked him. i asked anyway. i asked because i had always wanted specific qualities and experiences with this person and hadn’t asked throughout our history because i was afraid of the inevitable “no” response. but i asked last week, knowing he couldn’t give me what i was asking. and he said he couldn’t. and i felt good, brave, strong for asking.
the next day i thought more about what i wanted. i listed more of my wants. i imagined what allowing more, receiving more, recognizing more when more arrives in unexpected guises would feel like.
that night i received an invitation. i gratefully accepted the invitation. the next day i received another invitation. i accepted. two nights later, i received the next invitation. i enthusiastically said yes. i also extended an invitation. the invitation was received and my request was granted.
i used to think asking for more was a scary rotted rope bridge over a two thousand feet gorge that led to another precipice from which i would likely slip and fall and crash broken-bodied against granite cliffs. turns out asking for more is a sturdy concrete bridge over a small brook where rolling acres of wildflowers and sheltering trees invite me to rest and relax. asking for more is the fastest and easiest route to receiving more. i want more.
here’s what i’m asking you for:
see the best in me. believe the best about you.
accept yourself. stop judging yourself. stop judging others.
apologize when you’ve done or said something hurtful.
accept my apologies when i fuck up. forgive me.
take responsibility for your own feelings. let me be responsible for my feelings.
believe that i can do what i dream.
stop underestimating me. i’m more powerful, resourceful, and committed than you realize.
believe that you can have, do, and be what you desire.
stop underestimating yourself. you’re more powerful, capable, and resilient than you realize.
be kind. especially when others are being unkind.
remind me to be kind. especially when others are being unkind.
ask for what you want.
give what you want.
receive what you want.
let it be easy.
let everything be easier.
stop being hard on yourself.
give me space to grow.
grow with me.
never stop growing.
always love more.
let me love you more.
love me more. love you more. love more.
ask for more.