i read an article today with a sentence that began repeating mantra-like in my mind:
“The more we talk, the more we know, the faster we learn and demand better.”
the article’s subject was domestic violence, but the sentence repeating mantra-like applies to every aspect of any relationship. i want to be deeply known which means i gotta talk more often. i don’t talk as well as i write. i laugh well. i listen well. my talking starts and stops and stutters and rambles or goes silent. i’m an awkward talker. a friend with whom i originally connected via online chatting commented when she met me in person that my voice doesn’t sound like she expected. i agree. my talking voice doesn’t sound the way i’d like. i’d prefer my talking voice sounded more like my writing voice, smoother and wiser. my voice flows and floats and dips and waves when i write instead of pausing and faltering and lurching when i speak. i find communicating through touch to be the easiest, most direct way of communicating. let me hug you and you’ll know how i feel about you, you’ll feel the warmth and gratitude and compassion i have for you. if i let you hug me (which is distinct from me hugging you), i’ll show you my vulnerability.
the objective of more talking to be deeply known is that we’ll learn faster and demand better of ourselves. i want to be the best version of me with you. i want to be free, open, and unguarded. i need practice. let’s learn faster together. let’s practice openness and radical acceptance and naked presence with each other, even when we’re tired, even when we’re scared, even when we’re resistant or defensive (especially then).
“The more we talk, the more we know, the faster we learn and demand better.” i want to learn faster. i want to learn what helps you feel safe and what risks you are willing to take. i want to learn which wounds you are ready to heal and which wounds you want me to step around for now. i’m motivated by growth because i want to have more fun. i have way more fun when i’m loving you better and forgiving what hurts and releasing limitations and passionately pursuing desires. every time i fuck up, i demand more of myself the next time. i expect myself to learn quickly, take responsibility, and try again. i expect the same of you. let’s talk. there’s more to know. we’ll learn faster together. we deserve more.