confessions from new mexico

confession: you know somebody loves you when that someone drives to dfw airport to pick you up so that you don’t have to spend the night in dallas due to flight delays and missed connections.

confession: 6’2″ in a bikini shows way more skin than a woman of average height wearing a bikini. more skin equals sexier. damn sweet view in steaming hot springs swallowing falling snowflakes.

confession: yesterday morning when i woke up in santa fe i didn’t want to come home. after several hours stranded at the albuquerque airport, i only wanted to come home. perspective is a shifty little fucker.

confession: if he had been with me, i would’ve asked him to buy me the foxy hat. if he had been with me i wouldn’t have had to ask because he would have offered.

confession: while hiking cliffs with snow blowing into my wet red cheeks my mind goes as quiet as the winter desert.

confession: i’m afraid of being eaten by a mountain lion when i hike in new mexico, colorado, and arizona. i hike anyway and reflect upon what i wish i would have said and done if i don’t return home alive. hiking in mountain lion territory is a meditation on dying.

confession: i’m morbid. duh.

confession: because i was coffee high i wanted to spent $60k at an art gallery earlier this week. because i was coffee high i resisted. but if i had bought the art my sober self wouldn’t have regretted the purchase. art is priceless. art that inspires me is priceless plus infinity.

confession: you’d be surprised by the art on my grungy water-stained crumbly apartment walls.

confession: between trips i work hard and long and without sleep. i depart again next weekend. i’ll sleep next weekend but not much in-between.

confession: i write postcards on the flight home and mail them the next day. all postmarks are always from home. i’m too busy tripping on my trips to write postcards until the trip brings me back.

confession:  i checked an item off the bucket list this week by visiting the georgia o’keeffe museum. she teaches me how to see flowers and how to paint mountains and how to find my place in the world and where to look and how fast to run and how long to stay.

confession: the lesson of this week’s trip in new mexico was to create more space in the mind, create more space in the heart, create more space in the body through my breath.

confession: the last time i was in new mexico i went with the ex-wife. this time i took t. i gave. she received. the spell was broken. we healed.


About angel joy

love is an action verb. i live love in action.
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