i bought pink floral boots. they were on clearance. i had a 30% off coupon. they cost only twice my usual bar tab and they will bring me more pleasure than any drinks on any bar tab for the next few years. i have two pairs of boots that reflect my soft inner core: winged heart boots and now these pink floral boots. i’m softer than i let on…
i listen to cuban music. trust me, it’s romantic. and the way it makes my body move…is unspeakable.
i eat everything pickled with a fork from the jar over the sink…it’s messy, vinegar-y, and sexy.
after two drinks, i walk as if i’m wearing stilettos even when i’m wearing flip-flops.
i wear pearls to the grocery store at 10am on tuesday.
i don’t lend pearls, i give strands of pearls, because i always want a reason to buy myself a new strand of pearls. besides, a woman who needs to borrow a strand of pearls actually needs to be given a strand of pearls.
i love love. i love all forms of love. i love giving love. i love receiving love. i love living love. unconcditional love is my path to enlightenment.
i legally changed my name to something so cheezy that the judge didn’t want to grant it but had no legal reason to deny the request. she looked at me with severe suspicion when asking me if this name change is in my best interest. “yes,” i giggled. “yes, it is.”
i collect wedding dresses…and wear them out.
i buy expensive champagne…and always keep a bottle chilling in the refrigerator.
i scramble eggs with truffle oil.
i sprinkle pink himalayan salt on avocados.
i write love letters everyday.
i send love text messages everyday.
i’m an official love agent.
i have a hug waiting for you. sometimes my hugs come in a jump-up-on-you and wrap-my-legs-around-you presentation.
i can kiss for hours…and hours…and you may never find out what lacy underthings are getting wet…but i know…and that’s romantic enough.